Spam Email #3: Yassin’s 15million
It’s not every day that I get a reply from someone that I’ve emailed back. Mostly because I’m taking the piss or my reply doesn’t help them at all. Some of these spammers are so desperate to get something that they’ll reply to the most pointless emails they get.
Here’s email number 1 from him:
From: Yassin Awad
Date: Sat, 5 Nov 2011 18:52:06 -0400
Subject: GET BACK TO ME FOR MORE DETAILS
You are logged into Alpha Bank of Saulberg – On-line Banking Service | Secured Online System
Saturday October 22, 2011
Account Details for Bader AL-hasse & Co
View account details.
Account Hoders’s Name:
Bader AL-hasse & Co
Kalifa Al-Zaidee street Tripoli/ Libya. P.O,Box: 2
Hai Al Andalus
United States Dollars
Alpha Bank of Saulberg London Uk
Last Withdrawal Amount:
– – – –
Last Withdrawal Date:
. – – – –
Last Deposit Amount:
Last Deposit Date:
Account Opening Balance:
Date Account Was Opened:
Total Available Balance:
Current Interest Rate:
– – – –
I am Yassin Awad, a lawyer based in London UK, Please contact me for more details, we want to move this money from this account, it belongs to Late Muammar Gadaffis family, now they are dead, we must move the money or the bank will confiscate it
Contact me by email (email@example.com) or Fax: +447005-938-663
Wow. Where do I begin? Yassin doesn’t like to beat around the bush as he sends through account details straight away and expects me to do something with it. Sorry Yassin, I don’t work in Finance, you’ll have to walk me through what to do won’t you.
Thing is, I didn’t have the time or the energy to come up with a hilarious quip so I sent him this in response:
This doesn’t sound like a lot of money.
But I’ll take it in 2p’s and hit the pier
Easy reply, didn’t take up too much time and if he says ‘Yes’ then I’m sorted for the next couple of years and my slight gambling addiction. Strangely enough though, he replied…
Thank you for your mail, I know that you’re
trying to be very careful regarding this sensitive transaction, which
is very important but I’m assuring you that as long as this business
is concern, you’re not going to encounter any hitch. At first I must
inform you that I am a close lawyer of this family. (The first email you were ‘just a lawyer. Did you just get them on the books as clients?) I wouldn’t have involved myself in this transaction if it were not safe or if I am not
involved from time. (but of course Yassin. How silly of me to doubt you!)
I know when this account was setup and the name there
belongs to a school (Bader AL-hasse & Co with it’ address in Kalifa
Tripoli/ Libya. P.O,Box: 2) being their lawyer, I made
all documents to enable the bank in London to open the account. (that doesn’t sound like it’s right at all. or legal…)
Now the owner of this school being a close in-law of the family is
dead too during this last battle in site, (was it not called Sirte? Again, like other emails I’ll let this slide because you’re clearly a close relative of the family and may be affected by this horror.) I confirmed it from his wife who also knows me and knows about this money but the wife cannot come out to
claim the money as she is being monitored by the NTC officials, (you’ve confirmed it with the wife that he’s dead and his money is available. Great! I can definitely rest easy knowing that after taking his money I won’t feel like a complete dick for taking a dead man’s money, away from a school no less, while his wife struggles).now I will arrange all documents to prove you as a director/share holder to the school organization and with this position, we will file for the release of the fund into an account that you will provide.(how helpful)
I will get a court order authorizing the immediate release of the money to
this account and also valid all documents already make in the name of Bader AL-hasse & Co , good a thing the account is not in a person’s name, so it’s simple.(you need a court order to release the money but it’s not in a person’s name so it’s cool. I get it. In fact, get one of those HSBC secure key things and we’ll be away. Only takes 3 days)
I have insiders in the bank who also know about the case and how
the account was setup too (‘bank insiders’ has never been associated with anything good but who cares?! It’s going to get me mega rich right?), I need you to send me immediately all your personal details and also the account where the money will be moved into, please bear in mind that you will be responsible for the cost all the processing of the legal documents as i have mentioned here, you have my word to get all that will be required by the bank to release the fund. (I knew there was a catch somewhere! But you’ll pay me back right?)
I have agreed with the wife to give 25% of the total amount for your
involvement. (Ahhh that’s what I wanted to hear!)
Waiting to hear from you as we must act quick before it becomes late,
call me on +447924324010. (A mobile phone number?! I’ve been upgraded. Last time it was an email address and a fax number. A fax machine – the only electronic item used by people in the late 80s and my parents.)
So what do you say to a guy like Yassin after he’s been so helpful? This is what I sent:
You truly are a remarkable man. No one else I know would ever offer a complete stranger that amount of money for simply handing over their bank details. I mean, wow. I feel like I should deposit 15 million dollars into YOUR account. I’ll forever be in your debt after this.
How about you spend some of that 15 mil on a plane ticket over here and I’ll take you out for a sturdy pint of London Pride and we’ll chat about this like real men.
You know it makes sense.
I’ll also provide the party rings and jaffa cakes.
How silly of me I know. I look like a fool! He clearly stated in his first email that he was a lawyer from London so he wouldn’t need a plane ticket. Duh!
Funnily enough he never got back to me about Gaddaffi’s money, which is lucky because someone in the office said I looked like Gaddaffi and Yassin probably would’ve shit a brick if he saw me!
I await my reply from Yassin……. forever waiting.